"Cowardice, in general terms, is the perceived failure to demonstrate sufficient robustness in the face of a challenging situation. The term describes a personality trait which is typically viewed as a negative characteristic and has been generally frowned upon within most, if not all global cultures, while courage, typically viewed as its direct opposite, is generally rewarded and encouraged."
It has come to my attention as of late, that cowardice is something that, in the gay community, is admired and attractive. Now hold on, before you say "I don't admire cowards" or "I am not attracted to cowards"... Think about the type of men you are attracted to. If you find yourself being attracted to men who claim to be straight, yet have gay inclinations... If you find yourself attracted to married men (married to WOMEN), who are fathers, yet have gay sexual relationships on the side... If you find yourself attracted to men who are afraid to embrace their femininity (a trait which ALL men do possess to some degree)... Guess what honey, you are attracted to cowards. If you will only date someone who is "straight acting", then either you are attracted to cowards, you are a coward yourself, or both.
This is what I find truly sad about the gay community. We have parades to celebrate our liberty and our new (VERY new!) ability to be ourselves in public, and yet the youth of the community still hates themselves deep inside, whether they have come out or not, and they still are disgusted to be around and just by the prospect of dating someone who embraces their individuality, loves their femininity, and is not afraid to be themselves.
In nature, the male must be the beauty. He flaunts his unique beauty and talents in order to win the heart of his mate. As humans, we have abolished this as a society because of our extreme expectations of beauty for women. In order to be beautiful, a woman must have perfect skin, a size 0 waist, unproportionate weight-to-height ratio, stunning volumous and shiny hair, perfect breasts, and great facial features--WITHOUT makeup and retouching. She also is expected to be unique.
How does this affect gay men? It has (mis)led us to believe that a true man does not care about his appearance, and that he should be effortlessly sexy and look, dress, and act virtually the same as all other men. Look at the heterosexual wedding, it has been said before; the bride looks her best, picks a unique gown, and the groom looks the same as every groom before him. However, this is only one part of gay mens' attraction to the social "norm"... It also rests in self-loathing. Many gay men go through a period (that some will never come out of) where they simply hate the gay side of themselves. This leads them to find anyone who brings that out in them or portrays that side of them unattractive and unappealing. ESPECIALLY those of us who are proud of ourselves and don't care what other people think, because they are deeply jealous of our love for ourselves.
I know this from personal experience, when I was living with someone who insulted me on a daily basis telling me how disgusting I was because of my sexuality, I did not like feminine gay people. It's obvious why these two things have a connection. I was forced to hate that part of myself, and when I saw other people that could accept it, I was jealous of them, and I hated them because of it. I'm not saying that everyone lives with this proverbial monster, but due to our society, we all have it at some point in our lives.
The ability to feel good about myself is something I now neglect every day, until I meet people who are truly ashamed of themselves and quite obviously do not feel good about their inner self, and then I realize just how important it is and how much I take it for granted.
So, cowardice; attractive? In the gay culture, it's a resounding "YES". This is what I am most ashamed of in our people.
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